My beautiful granddaughter, Ashley Elizabeth, is experiencing her fourth Christmas, but it might as well be her first. Like her baby sister, Ava Emily, who is 17 months old, Christmas is a blur at that age.
Last year’s Christmas was a recollection Ashley might like to erase. Sitting on the lap of a mall Santa who has bad breath and a fake beard to match is not exactly Ashley’s most beloved memory.
But this year is different. Ashley and Ava’s favorite holiday of the year is Halloween. They liked it so much this year that they wore two separate outfits, a lady bug and a Nemo fish.
So with another holiday coming up, Ashley has asked “When are we putting up the Halloween tree?” In her mind, Christmas is just Halloween – Part II that we celebrate it with a tree and lots of decorations. Hey…works for me.
I call Ashley and Ava my “Hyetti,” an Arabic word which, roughly translated, means my heart or my life. She is the “breath of my life”. She calls me Jiddo (pronounced Jiddy), which means grandfather in my native Lebanese heritage. Jiddo was the first name in the family she mastered. It beat out mama and daddy. She called her grandmother, Christine, “gama” until she could get Grammy down pat. Early on, she dropped the “r” for convenience and the moniker has stuck.
Ashley’s tastes are simple. The best gift you could give her would be a daily visit to the lakefront here in St. Cloud, Florida at Lake Tohopekaliga, more commonly known as East Lake Toho, an 18,810 acre body of water. Tohopekaliga means “sleeping tiger.” Toho is the largest lake in Osceola County and is a favorite fishing hole for bass anglers here in St. Cloud, Florida.
Ashley loves riding her tricycle over the miles of paved walkways and bike paths, ending up at the playground which is packed full of every kind of slide and climber you can imagine. Ashley has acquired a penchant for the fisherman that flock the docks near the marina. Last year’s gift to her was a fishing rod. This year, rumor has it, Santa is bringing her a bicycle.
Christmas should be about happy times and warm feelings, but so many of us suffer during this time of the year. My father died over the Christmas season as did my brother-in-law and my infant nephew. Sad times creep into what should be a happy picture.
Couple that with this year’s economic misery, with relationships that are stressed and with physical problems that some have, and it’s easy to get down at this time of the year.
The experts tell us we can do something about it.
• Acknowledge your feelings; they’re real and it’s okay to have them.
• Seek support; turn to someone who you love and who loves you.
• Be realistic; no you’re probably not going to hit the lottery or lose 100 pounds this week.
• Set differences aside; chances are others are hurting as much as you are.
• Stick to a budget; there’s enough financial stress without compounding it.
• Plan ahead; expect travel delays and the stress that comes with them.
• Learn to say no; believe it or not, others will understand that you can’t always buy everyone a present.
• Don’t abandon healthy habits; it’s easy to overindulge.
• Take a breather; set aside some time for yourself. Just 15 minutes can recharge your batteries. Take a break or God will give you one… maybe permanently.
• Rethink resolutions; you can’t change the past nor can you predict the future. Live today like it’s your last… one day it will be.
• Forget about perfection; it’s okay to not be number one in everything you do.
• Seek professional help if you need it.
I had an employee who took his life a couple of years ago during the fall holiday season. He might still be with us today if he had sought help. He made a choice that now profoundly affects his wife and teenage children. Try to remember that the baby Ashley’s of the world need us here, alive and present, despite our many imperfections and shortcomings.
Now… let’s go put up the Halloween tree!
